Reaping the slow of mind

I can't make this stuff up:

Just got an envelope from the bank that has the mortgage on our home (and who recently sent us a notice announcing a rate increase to 8.75%) containing an offer to invest $10,000 or more into a CD paying a whopping 5.05%.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, my dear fellow?

If I wanted to make 8.75%, and I had $10,000 available, I would INVEST IT AGAINST PRINCIPAL, you vampiric maggots.

Full marks for cojones, though. Next time, include the CD promo in the SAME ENVELOPE as the mortgage rate increase. Half the postage, double the irony.

Although, for comedy purposes, I would love to know the quantity (and home phone numbers! I need more gullible friends!) of all the mortgage customers who took them up on this lose-lose deal.

I mean, come on, what kind of intelligence test IS this? I can understand keeping some cash in an interest-bearing checking account or something for emergencies while you pay your mortgage, but a FREAKING CD?? You can't even touch that dough for a YEAR or more. So why in nether Hell would you invest in a 5.05% CD when everyone in the country is looking down the business end of a 6+% mortgage?

Sheesh.

/rant off
/for now...